The Treadmill Desk! Fitness for Nerds

The Treadmill Desk! Fitness for Nerds

Oh, good morning, Hank. It’s Tuesday. As you might notice, I’m here in my new office and I’m walking on my treadmill desk Why did I get a treadmill desk? Well, two reasons, Hank First, I am a nerd and I heard that you could level up in your nerdiness by getting a treadmill desk So I was like, ‘alright’ To talk about the second reason, we need to go back in time to Memorial Day weekend when you and I went to the beach together Now Hank, you may remember that we ran into the ocean, both wearing our shirts to protect the public, and then we had an old-fashioned noodle war you know, like people in their thirties do and in that noodle war, it was widely reported that you won but in fact, you did not win, because as you can see right here, you abandoned your noodle which is losing! Anybody who abandons their noodle has lost the noodle war! That’s the rules! So just to be perfectly clear, I won the noodle war However, after I won the noodle war, you picked me up and slammed me into the water and at some point when you were lifting this nearly 200 pound mass and then slamming it into the water, I thought to myself, ‘Hank has gotten kind of fit lately’ And Hank, it turns out that over the last several months, you’ve quietly been doing this exercise regimen that has resulted in you becoming kind of buff In fact, several people commented about it on your last video Now, I didn’t get this treadmill desk just because you got fit and I’m jealous But I’m not gonna deny it Hank, I was partly inspired by my Memorial Day dunking. Also, third reason: Hank, as you know, I am obsessed in all the ways that in trying to save ourselves we kill ourselves, Like all the the ways we act irrationally about health. For instance, I’m a big fan of hand sanitizer, but sometimes I use hand sanitizer while I’m driving. And that’s not rational, because I’m creating more risks for myself by using the hand sanitizer than I would if I just drove. Anyway, Hank, it turns out that people that sit more than eleven hours a day are twice as likely to die from all causes over the next 15 years than people that sit for less than four hours a day. Well, Hank, I don’t need to tell you why this is a concern to me. I live on the internet, the world capital of sitting. Initially, I thought it might not be a problem because I usually don’t sit… … I recline. But it turns out reclining count as sitting. Sitting too much increase your risks of like heart attack, diabetes, certain types of cancer… So I was like, I’m not gonna do it anymore Hank, I’m gonna be a stander! I’m gonna be a stander and a walker! My entire new novel is gonna be written while walking. Or this will end up like all the other fitness crap in my basement. Hank, DFTBA, congratulations on your new found… you know. I’ll see you on Friday. Alright Hank, I’m happy, so I’m gonna try this. Don’t try this at home. YESSS!

100 thoughts on “The Treadmill Desk! Fitness for Nerds

  1. That sounds like a quote from one of John's books.
    "People never understand the metaphor of a treadmill. You turn it on and walk, and walk, and walk, and you never go anywhere. You can walk miles and remain in the same place."

  2. Thumbs-upping this so I can remember to get a treadmill desk nine or so years from now when i have like a house and stuff

  3. John Green has said that as soon as he finishes one novel, he starts another, to keep his workflow steady, and continue writing while he's still used to it.

  4. Its like 1 in the morning here in Chicago, and not quite sure how I ended up watching this year old video. Anyway, I should go to sleep…

  5. So cute :3 I should get a treadmill desk as I sit/recline like.. all day. Every day. Aaand.. don't really want to die or get sick.
    But I'm pretty sure they're expensive and I would not have anywhere to put it :/

  6. If we shouldn't sit for more than 4 hours… and school is 8 hours of sitting… is school kiiling us?
    and if I got a treadmill desk, I would probably forget that I'm on a treadmill and stop walking… and I would increase my chances of dying by slamming my face on the desk…

  7. So how did it turn out?
    I am always curious if there is even one long-term user of this contraption.

    Excellent theory, seems a bit impractical, yet tempting.
    A graphic designer

  8. John, do you still use your treadmill desk? I've been thinking about buying one myself and would love your opinion on it after seeing that this video is 2 years old.

  9. Using Hand sanitizer kills good bacteria too! It also can make you "to clean", you don't become immune to bad bacteria and your body loses the strength to fight them off.

  10. good to know my depression enhanced sitting and lying down has been chipping away at my life expectancy in another way. also I hate hand sanitizer, it makes my hands feel dirty(I need to wash them with water and soap right away after using it).

  11. Sitting 11 hours a day in a row? Or if you stand up and walk around every hour, it'll be alright.

    Because recess and lunch…

  12. I kept staring at the flowers, waiting for a sign that shows whether they were digitally added in or physical–the jiggled with the desk!

  13. You won the noodle war, by exercising your right as the older brother to change the rules arbitrarily AFTER the contest has concluded. Hank won.

  14. "anybody who abandons their noodle has lost the noodle war" -John Green, #1 New York Times Best Selling Author.

  15. that's so awesome!!!!! I need one of those! I have a standing desk but after a while my back starts aching from being still too long. that's an awesome solution!!!

  16. Does 5 years of moderately-paced treadmill-writing have anything to do with the spectacularly-titled Turtles All the Way Down?

  17. Exceptionally good>>> It has a quiet and smooth operation. The electronics are more than adequate. We do NOT run on it, so I can't evaluate that, but the walking experience is extremely favorable. Then the best news, we had a problem with the treadmill that required the "dreaded" call to Customer Service and a repair person. I CANNOT express how pleased I was with their customer service and the repair technician. Absolutely top-notch!! Highly recommend the company and this treadmill!

  18. Hank won the noodle war BECAUSE he abandoned the noodle in order to throw you into the water. While abandoning your noodle makes winning the noodle war difficult, it is not impossible. A throw-your-relative-into-the-water is an automatic win though.

  19. there is our office. for 6 years we are working all the time walking on the steppers… easier, cheaper, better? what do you think about it? any questions? just ask…send email, i will try to answer.

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