Jimmy Kimmel Grateful Health Care Bill is Dead


THANK YOU FOR JOINING US ON A DAY OF GREAT RELIEF FOR MANY MILLION OF AMERICANS. BECAUSE THE GRAHAM/CASSIDY HEALTH CARE BILL, A BILL I’VE BEEN SPEAKING OUT AGAINST ALL WEEK, IT SHALL NOT PASS. SENATOR McCONNELL DECIDED TO PULL THE VOTE. THEY DIDN’T HAVE THE VOTES. I HAVEN’T BEEN THIS EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING BEING DEAD SINCE BIN LADEN. ON BEHALF OF MY FAMILY, ESPECIALLY MY SON BILLY, I WANT TO SINCERELY THANK THOSE OF YOU WHO CALLED YOUR REPRESENTATIVES AND MADE YOUR VOICES HEARD. I BET THE WALLS IN THE OVAL OFFICE ARE FILLED WITH DOZENS OF TINY LITTLE FIST HOLES TODAY. REPUBLICAN SENATOR SUES AN COLLINS AND JOHN McCAIN STOOD UP AGAINST GRAHAM/CASSIDY. THEY BROKE WITH THEIR PARTY AND THE PRESIDENT WILL THE GOOD SENSE LAST NIGHT TO LASH OUT AGAINST JOHN McCAIN ON TWITTER. HE POSTED A VIDEO. HE WROTE A FEW OF THE MANY CLIPS OF JOHN McCAIN TALKING ABOUT REPEALING AND REPLACING O’CARE. MY OH MY HAS HE CHANGED. HE’S SO MAD HE’S TURNED INTO SCARLET O’HARA. AND McCAIN DIDN’T EVEN FLIP-FLOP. HE’S STILL IN FAVOR OF REPLACING. AND THE IDEA THAT DONALD TRUMP WOULD CRITICIZE ANYONE FOR CHANGING HIS POSITION IS VERY RICH. DEFINITELY RICHER THAN HE IS. DONALD TRUMP HAS MORE FLIP-FLOPS THAN A JIMMY BUFFETT CONCERT. NO ONE CONTRADICTS HIMSELF MORE. NO ONE EVER IN HISTORY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I WILL SAY THIS. SINCE HE WAS SO KEEN ON SHINING THAT LIGHT ON JOHN McCAIN, WE PUT TOGETHER A COLLECTION OF SOME OF THE BIGLIEST ABOUT FACES OF DONALD TRUMP HIMSELF.>>BILL CLINTON WAS A GREAT PRESIDENT. HILLARY CLINTON IS A GREAT WOULD THAT AND A GOOD WOMAN.>>IN MANY WAYS I IDENTIFY MORE AS A DEMOCRAT.>>I AM VERY PRO-CHOICE.>>I WON’T HAVE TIME TO PLAY GOLF.>>I’M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYBODY. I DON’T CARE IF IT COSTS ME VOTES OR NOT. IT SEALS LIKE THEY DO BETTER.>>I HATE THE CONCEPT OF DIVORCE. I WOULD NEVER LIE.>>COULD YOU SAY — >>I WOULD NOT LIE. I WOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT LIE. IF I DECIDE TO RUN FOR OFFICE, I’LL PRODUCE MY TAX RETURNS. ABSOLUTELY.>>Jimmy: HIS MEMORY IS SHORTER THAN HIS FINGER. SO HE HAD DINNER WITH A BUNCH OF CONSERVATIVE LEADERS AT WHICH HE CALLED JOHN McCAIN A DISGRACE, WHICH THAT IN ITSELF IS DISGRACEFUL. JOHN McCAIN IS HOME FIGHTING BRAIN CANCER RIGHT NOW. WHAT IS YOUR BRAIN’S EXCUSE? AND THE SAME WAY TRUMP IS TELLING THE NFL WOULD BE MORE PATRIOTIC, HE IS INSULTING A MAN WITH A PURPLE HEART. JOHN McCAIN WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG MAN, HE WENT TO VIET NATURAL. HE WAS BEATEN VICIOUSLY. HE WAS A PRISONER OF WAR FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. THEY OFFERED TO RELEASE HIM AND HE SAID NO. HE REFUSED TO LEAVE HIS FELLOW SOLDIERS BEHIND SO HE STAYED THERE VOLUNTARILY. DONALD TRUMP GOT OUT OF EVEN GOING TO VIETNAM BECAUSE HE HAD A BONE SPUR. HE GOT A DEFERMENT FROM DR. SCHOLL’S OF IF THAT DOESN’T PAINT A PICTURE FOR YOU, MAYBE THIS WILL. THIS IS McCAIN AFTER HE WAS RELEASED BY THE VIETNAMESE.>>JOHN McCAIN SEEN HERE EXITING A BUS IN HANOY, VIET NAP.>>HERE’S DONALD TRUMP GETTING OFF A BUS.>>2005, DONALD TRUMP SEEN HERE EXITING A BUS IN BURBANK, CALIFORNIA.>>HELLO, HOW ARE YOU, FINE. NICE SEEING YOU. TERRIFIC. YOU KNOW BILLY BUSH.>>EACH MAN DISPLAYS HIS HEROISM IN HIS OWN PERSONAL WAY. SO GOOD FOR JOHN McCAIN FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING AGAIN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SUSAN COLLINS, WHILE I’M RELIEVED THAT WE DODGED THIS PARTICULAR BULLET, HEALTH CARE, WE NEED A SYSTEM THAT PROVIDES QUALITY AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE TO EVERY AMERICAN. OBAMACARE IS A START BUT IT IS OBVIOUSLY FAR FROM PERFECT. AND LET’S NOT FORGET, THE REASON IT IS FAR FROM PERFECT IS FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEARS, THE GOP LEADERSHIP REFUSED TO WORK WITH DEMOCRATS TO FIX IT. THEY VOTED SIX TIMES CAN I IT. NOT EVEN COUNTING THE VOTES THIS YEAR. THEY TRIED 50 MORE TIMES TO CRIPPLE IT OR TO REMOVE IMPORTANT PROVISIONS AND THEY KEPT SAYING REPEAL AND REPLACE. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THEY DIDN’T HAVE A REPLACEMENT THAT OFFERED ANYTHING LIKE WHAT WE HAVE NOW. SOME REPUBLICANS SAYING THEY’LL TAKE ANOTHER SHOT AT IT NEXT YEAR, EVEN THOUGH ONLY 24% OF AMERICANS APPROVED OF GRAHAM/CASSIDY AND ONLY 20% APPROVED OF THE LAST ONE. I’M NOT A CONGRESSMAN. I DON’T WANT TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOBS. BUT HERE’S HOW TO DO YOUR JOBS, OKAY? INSTEAD OF WRITING A BILL BY CANDLELIGHT ON A BAZOOKA WRAPPER AND THEN LYING ABOUT WHAT IT WILL DO, TRY THIS. HOLD A BUNK OF HEARINGS. AT THOSE HEARINGS, INVITE EXPERTS, DOCTORS, PATIENTS, HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATORS, INSURANCE PEOPLE, INVITE THEY WILL ALL, FIND OUT WHAT’S WORKING, AND THEN WRITE A BILL BASED ON ALL THE STUFF YOU FOUND OUT FROM THEY WILL. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO THINK INSIDE THE BOX. OKAY? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS TO TELL OUR REPRESENTATIVES IN CONGRESS TO GET TOGETHER WITH THEIR COLLEAGUES, SENATOR LAMAR ALEXANDER OF TENNESSEE WAS ALREADY DOING THIS WITH PATTY MURRAY OF WASHINGTON TO WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE A FLAWED SYSTEM INTO A GREAT SYSTEM. AND PRESIDENT TRUMP, YOU MADE A DEAL WITH SCHUMER AND PELOSI, AND YOU GOT GREAT PRESS FOR THAT. DO THAT AGAIN. YOU CAN CALL IT TRUMP IS AWESOME CARE. WE DON’T CARE. WE’LL PUT YOUR MASKS IN THE OPERATING ROOM SO PEOPLE CAN SEE AND YOU THANK YOU JUST BEFORE THEY GO UNDER. THIS ISN’T ABOUT SIDES. IT IS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE SICK. TO ALL THE SENATORS AND REPRESENTATIVES WHO STOPPED THIS BILL, THANK YOU FOR BEING REASONABLE AND KNOW — [ APPLAUSE ] THAT WE’RE PAYING ATTENTION AND YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM US AGAIN. IF EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN SO PASSIONATE ABOUT HEALTH CARE COULD BE JUST AS LOUD AND ENGAGED ABOUT HELPING PEOPLE IN PUERTO RICO, PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING TO THE AMERICAN RED CROSS WHICH IS RIGHT THERE.

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